The problem start right there:

You  sit in your little corner minding your own business, next you hear noice, ooh its  people,,,  they talking (you think) from all corners of your own life people are talking. Now you didn't mind them talking until you realise that your name is part of their talks. These are daily talks, office talks, friends talks, family, church people , just people. the principle that you lived by is that let them talk whatever they say about you is none of your business until it becomes your business. And that is where you realise they have stepped onto your toes. what do you do then? shut up and pretend nothing ever happened, sometimes you have got  to take initiative and stand your ground put people in place. but people like me can never stand ground being firm without being ghetto. look we all react differently to situations especially that provokes our emotions. We never know how we will react until we come to that situation.. and me all that theory of "carry yourself like a lady" goes out my ears when I'm angry. i have prayed for controlling my anger and i see the results of these prayers over time i have become calmer than i would in the past. but i still feel that people take you for granted if you decide to rejects the things they do/say to you about you, not that what they say about you is 100% incorrect but where do they get audacity to come and intrude in your life?

There are so many things i see wrong in peoples lives, their action, their behaviours, their decisions, the physical being, what ever the partners they are dating, their dress code, but what the hell i don't give a damn what people do. They must just do what they do, and i do what i do without them having things to say. i don't have issues at all, i just want to live my life the way that free; s me/ my spirit. I do allow constructive criticism, the problem is people don't have an approach in criticism forgetting that what they are actually criticising is after all none of their business. Some guy at the salon told me that everyone in this world has some sort of madness, including me and him, he said. but the trick is how you maintain your madness levels and tolerate other people's ones. but how do i if i get provoked all the time to the level that triggers my madness level. ooh i forgot to mention that i do believe what the guy said. looking at what i have seen in the years of my life.. people are crazy out there, and if you would concentrate on what people do, you'll shake your head through life. im not perfect but im trying...

i wonder why?Zzzzzz!

basDungela Amanzi

ksazonyiwa!

Im trying to define the origins of u - (ChinaZu,ChinaSo,ChinaXho,ChinaTshwa,ChinaVe,ChinaTsonga) and nigerians and Somalians and Packistans.....Those would be the phenomenon of cross racial generation that at this point is not yet seen but exists amongs our communities,,amongst us.. So the country has offically let down our sence of originality and has brought forth terror of identity confusion....(leziyngane ezizalwa ziyingxubevange zidefined at what grouping?.)

Amongst other things that our brothers are no longer faithfull, loving and loaded...could be one reason that our South African sister are refering to non citizens, i trully dont believe that its for exploring purposes. i have nothing against what is  happening in this country but i have somthing with ones identity as i believe that every individual deserves to practice their culture freely and  know about their origins... kuyothiwan kuleziyn gane mazikhula? will this country exclude them in any form of social benefit as they wont fit in our officially .defined ethnic grouping? has the country looked into that for future forecast.. noma soba umhlambi uzelusile? i hear South Africa is a rainbow nation but this is too many colours..which will not be controllable. first, the person is officially defined by Fathers identity...so if yo father really is Somalian... oh well you will be South African by citizen by birth but does that give you your origins...sovelewa ama rebelions la adinga amasiko esingawazi...

i foresee War ....ya you heard it first from me Tso...kuzovukelana imibuso la...when everyone will be claiming to be South african...when we all know that South Africa had no China no Somalians and no Nigerians whatsoever...sivumelelan ukuzophathwa eziny e izizwe emhlaben wokhokho be2. this is the mistory ill always question myself ...all other countries dont allow that people come and take over on what is rightfully their. siloku sizalela lezizizwe nje we dont realise that we are creating a weakness in our own home. im not a tribalist, i dont have have xenophobia issues kodwa le eyenzeka la yona cha angiyphasisi..these are just my opinion...it was one thing to be oppressed by white but when history repeat itself sizoba oppressed by Chineese...hhay cha thanks but nngeke ke ngiymele leyonto mina bandla...

i desert ithi vuuuuuu......

When 6 ordinary girls went to Dubai...

Ye ye ye i know, you probably think not again, but you didn't think i was just going to let this go without any piece and anyway i guess ill never share enough because it will take me my lifetime to explain what happened. what i saw was enough to drive a creature wild.

OK I'm only going to just focus on the nature and faith part of the story, I'm not sure if i had gone to America id will have the same charisma because what stoodout for me was something out of this world beyond nature, Ive never been to the moon but id like to think that the experience feels the same. we all know that Dubai is hot in a simplest definition of their weather but the actual reason I'm writing this piece is what actually came to my mind when i came face to face with the heat.

The heat, is something i can never explain and /or define yes they say 70degrees but that is not what I'm interested in, the temperature levels measured by human kind. what is going on there i think is something way beyond human understanding, and the interesting part is that its happens just in Dubai. i was paranoid the whole time feeling like in one of those movies when you hear voices, i felt that the desert was talking and was talking to me (would normally say to my friends guys i Desert ithi vuuuuuuuuuu). my friends laughed the whole time when id start saying this, but something was just not ordinary, maybe its just a new environment and different environment but i been to Swaziland. and i didn't hear nothing vvvvvuuuuzing...

OK when we got there it was the Ramadan period when they are fasting no food and water between 7am and 7am, i wasn't really surprised at that coz it a common culture in South Africa amongst certain races but what differed was the level of commitment. The whole country is doing the same thing at once and tourist are told to respect that, well, forced precisely because you would get arrested otherwise if you're found doing certain things - like wearing bikini in public areas. as a result we tried to conform to their norms and values.

nevertheless now in my mind was a huge confusion seeing the level of commitment in fasting, the wealth the country has, and the heat. maybe for others these 3 had no relation. maybe for them it was just another trip, but me,,,i had my mind working. what lesson was i suppose to learn in all of that? anyway now that i had 3 factors i had to come to a conclusion,, and i decided that God does exist not that i didn't know but i proved it beyond reaseable doubt  , theres no way that people stay /are born in such humid conditions , survive and stay without water for the whole day for 40 days and still survive even better seeks not.

it will be long before those people have poverty  and i dont know if its their faith that will guide them, their wisdonm or Gods mercy because of their devotion to Him.On the hand  it will be long before SA get to their wealth ,im not really saying that South Africans are less of believers than Arabic people or questioning our commitment to God anyway here in SA we are doing too many things at once, our religions are all over the show. there is no level of consistancy, that might not be the issue but i have seen that unifomism makes things much easier in religion that is. our beliefs in South Africa are too many i cant even keep up. anyway im not against the idea just i think it works better when we all in one spirit. like when we toytoy agaist etoll,electricity bill. im saying this because we do have things that we all see eye to eye in SA. i just dont get why cant we have 1 religion that will guide us. it could be any but that will be in agreement. 

for obvious reasons.while this is true i still want to go back and fill in the spaces i came back with and i wish everybody who is spontaneous enough to go there especially south African youth. for one reason our media is not actually showing us the reality out there, they just show us what they want to feed our minds with bullshit, but again it could be that they don't know what to show....

too be continued....

it doez matter

Ok I'm like home now I mean ma province, well did a bit of this n dat today I love the kzn atmosphere and how stress free people are. So I met a guy by chance, I know what u thinkin(oh her with men issues) anyway da argument btn me n him waz the fact where ppl met, matters in a long run! Dat was ma thinkin or atleast is, to me its plain and simple I don't trust that a person you meet @ these social gatherings can be called yo own at the end! Why? Coz I think that some men think it is loose for a women to be pickd up after the partyin,it says a lot about yo reputation. So he says to me ( I must'nt crusify him bcoz of where we met) well knowing me. I ddnt buy it he was not hapy az any man wuld after being turned down and the story goes on...... For some od rzn I ended up at an area by his so I'm tryn to call him excited by the fact..... Guess what? The brother can't speak no more! My guess is the point of it all was the same point! I almost fell for a trap coz on my mind the thought of doing things by the book gave me the same results..... I wanted to br8ke the rules, it turned out my instincts served me well as always! bekuyiskelem konke pitty!

Some Strange Thing seem to be happening to me!

You see i do dwell into patterns.........

So i received a phonecall when i first had a cellphone in 2003, that individual said he was from Secunda...well i didn't know where Secunda was back in the days even today i have never been there..

Anyway what i'm trying to say is whenever i'm dialing the wrong number(by mistake ofcause) when i'm in Gauteng, it turns to be owned by some Sotho/Tswana/Venda/Sangan person. but if i dial a wrong number well ye by mistake and i'm in KZN someone frm Ntuzuma or pinetown or Eskhawin would answer the call...and ja i think this is strange.....

Today i'm at work trying to call Slie in Durban some Tswana speakin person answered the call and i almost went insane coz already i have noticed this pattern in my experience...Is it Daja Vu or am i Delusional? And what if it happens again? will you say that i'm paranoid?

lol JUST A THOUGHT!

"Life Goes On"

[Chorus: repeat 2X]

.

How many brothas fell victim to tha streetz
Rest in peace young nigga, there's a Heaven for a 'G'
be a lie, If I told ya that I never thought of death
my niggas, we tha last ones left
but life goes on.....

[Verse One:]

As I bail through tha empty halls
breath stinkin'
in my jaws
ring, ring, ring
quiet y'all
incoming call
plus this my homie from high school
he's getting bye
It's time to bury another brotha nobody cry
life as a baller
alchol and booty calls
we usta do them as adolecents
do you recall?
raised as G's
loc'ed out and blazed the weed
get on tha roof
let's get smoked out
and blaze with me
2 in tha morning
and we still high assed out
screamin' 'thug till I die'
before I passed out
but now that your gone
i'm in tha zone
thinkin'
'I don't wanna die all alone'
but now ya gone
and all I got left are stinkin' memories
I love them niggas to death
i'm drinkin' Hennessy
while tryin' ta make it last
I drank a 5th for that ass
when you passed....
cause life goes on

[Chorus]

[Verse Two:]

Yeah nigga
I got tha word as hell
ya blew trial and tha judge gave you
25 with an L
time to prepare to do fed time
won't see parole
imagine life as a convict
that's getten' old
plus with tha drama
we're lookin out for your babies mama
taken risks, while keepin' cheap tricks from gettin on her...
life in tha hood...
is all good for nobody
remember gamin' on dumb hoties at chill parties
Me and you
No true a two
while scheming on hits
and gettin tricks
that maybe we can slide into
but now you burried
rest nigga
cause I ain't worried
eyes bluried
sayin' goodbye at the cemetary
tho' memories fade
I got your name tated on my arm
so we both ball till' my dying days
before I say goodbye
Kato and Mental rest in peace
Thug till I die

[Chorus]

[Verse Three:]

Bury me smilin'
with G's in my pocket
have a party at my funeral
let every rapper rock it
let tha hoes that I usta know
from way before
kiss me from my head to my toe
give me a paper and a pen
so I can write about my life of sin
a couple bottles of Gin
incase I don't get in
tell all my people i'm a Ridah
nobody cries when we die
we outlaws
let me ride
until I get free
I live my life in tha fast lane
got police chasen me
to my niggas from old blocks
from old crews
niggas that guided me through
back in tha old school
pour out some liquor
have a toast for tha homies
see we both gotta die
but ya chose to go before me
and brothas miss ya while your gone
you left your nigga on his own
how long we mourn
life goes on...

[Chorus repeats to end]
[sung overtop repeating chorus]

Life goes on homie
gone on, cause they passed away
Niggas doin' life
Niggas doin' 50 and 60 years and shit
I feel ya nigga, trust me
I feel ya
You know what I mean
last year
we poured out liquor for ya
this year nigga, life goes on
we're gonna clock now
get money
evade bitches
evade tricks
give players plenty space
and basicaly just represent for you baby
next time you see your niggas
your gonna be on top nigga
their gonna be like,
'Goddamn, them niggas came up'
that's right baby
life goes on....
and we up out this bitch
hey Kato, Mental
y'all niggas make sure it's popin' when we get up there
don't front

Being Single

You know sometimes i sit and think......"and the point of it all?" guess what i never got an answer....

So i'm whatever age and i'm single, well i don mind coz its actually who/what i am ryt now but the question is, is it gonna end this way am i gonna die a spinster? if so that the case y do i bother myself so much...yazi! Single life is good actually great you get to do your own thing at your own pace, there are no rules and most important you can accomplish a lot when u are still stuck in the "me time" my friends call it....not that a partner pulls u back but you compensate the time u suppose to spend with a partner with keeping yourself busy 'building yourself.' Whatever that means.

The most complicated issue in being single is the "getting laid" part. Ya vele i mean a woman gotta get some but the problem begins with where...u tend to meet someone and they don fit your profile either they are big or small with huge egos and u think WTF! than u try again..the interesting part is that every single women out there was Never Single...either shz a mama's baby or the Man took off with another woman. This makes us single ladies be sceptic about who we choose so we won;t make the same mistake twice.. but that where the problem begins Comparison we seem to compare the past with the present and future which is not wrong for benchmarking progress but we kill ourselves for so doing...anyway where was i Ohh i was in a point 'the getting laid part of the story' well as single as one can be but anyone get laid at the end of the day...thats the saddest part because your sleeping partner is not yours either by agreement or circumstances..when u start being single u say to yourself 'mina i'm never gonna date a married guy' years go by you get older so as your profile in choosing.. you end up dating a married guy anyway and you don't see a problem infact u start telling people more like a sales consultant selling a life cover "married man are actualy good they don't bother you, they support u, they don't rape you in bed like the 23yr old u dated at 29...and the story goes on) forgeting that married man were never good they just became good after they got married...

All of this becomes too much so you result to abstaining and you tell yourself that no me i'm done with man...after that u became a Saved Born again christian and u start critising everyone who isn't...Yini...no secret Sister You're horny period!

you see me I like being single the only part i don't like about it is the Loneliness'the me time' sometime uyamdinga nje umuntu ozokcomfort and tell u things...(though lying to you) but the lies make u happy...i have no problems with a man not being faithfull ukuty nje the man thats gona be mine's gotta be educated,support me, and Hiv negative is it too much to ask?

My black brothers and sisters you see, i know one thing and one thing only,there is no manual on how to live life and at the end of it all..Death comes along. So there are things you will die without achieving because they were beyond your control your whole life..You see buying a Private Jet is far better than getting a man. As broke as i am but i can promise you one thing today that i know i'm certain of buying a Private Jet for sure but getting married, having life partner or whatever that you call it that is not guranteed..Asphilen bafwe2..sibe grand....MAN DOES NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE! chaw!